You’re probably bombarded by messages like “Don’t do this” or “Don’t do that” on a daily basis by media or by some other source.  While that sort of thinking might work to help you keep rules and regulations in mind, it’s not a very healthy outlook to keep for the other factors of your life.

The Power of Positive Thinking

As kindergarten as it might sound, thinking good and happy thoughts actually affects your outward disposition and behavior.  Job applicants are the most popular anecdotal example because those who think positively and believe that they will get the job are a lot more relaxed and confident.  Your behavior is a psychological aspect of yourself, so changing the way you look at things will definitely affect the way you walk, talk, and act.

And it’s not all about just thinking good things that makes a difference.  When you think positively and, say, imagine yourself achieving your goal, you keep yourself focused on the finished line.  Thus, your actions are more probable to bring you one step closer to that finish line.  When you think positively despite setbacks or difficulties, you keep yourself from getting distracted with negative comments, and you get back on the road a lot more quickly.

Visualize and Affirm

You can break down positive thinking into two components - one that stretches from the time you prepare yourself to the time you actually work for a goal and another for the period of time after you have made your effort.

Before you set out to meet the challenge, set a clear goal and visualize yourself achieving that goal.  In your head, see yourself making that grade or winning that competition.  See yourself shaking the boss’ hand as he tells you that you just got yourself the promotion.  Imagine yourself crossing that finish line victorious.  You might call it mere fantasy, but it’s actually very effective preparation.  It helps you tune out the small, irrelevant, and insignificant disturbances to allow you to focus more on where you want to go and how you can get there.

If you managed to reach your goal, celebrate.  Congratulate yourself.  It sounds like gloating, but it’s actually affirmation because you’re telling yourself that you did a great job and was, thus, able to achieve the goal.  Affirm the good traits you brought out and positive actions that you did.  Tell yourself that you were confident.  Tell yourself that you were focused.  Doing so makes it easier to tap into those same things the next time around.

If you don’t reach your goal, on the other hand, affirm and use positive language nonetheless.  Don’t tell yourself that you didn’t place first in the race.  Tell yourself that you won second, and that you’d like yourself to go faster and stronger next time.  You give yourself congratulations for whatever you were able to achieve while at the same time provide a strong motivation for practice and improvement.

Can you call yourself an optimistic person?  Are you a positive thinker?  Do you believe that you can shape your own future and command your happiness?  You don’t have to be at the mercies of fate.  Your success in life and your happiness starts with having a positive mindset.  When you think positively, you become the master of your life.  You own your dreams, actions, happiness, and ultimately, your success.  When you are a positive thinker, it doesn’t mean that you deny the existence of misery, failures, or problems.  You just have an optimistic outlook.

Who is a Positive Thinker?

When you are a positive thinker, you believe that you can overcome any crisis that life throws your way.  People who tend to think positively accept their shortcomings but know how to channel their weaknesses to something positive.  They do not let their weaknesses get the best of them.  Instead, they make an effort to focus on their strengths.  They also try to remedy their weaknesses.  This attitude comes with a positive mindset.  A positive thinker knows that if he lets despair and helplessness get the best of them, they will lose.

How to Start Thinking Positively

Once you start thinking positively, you start a habit.  You then equip yourself with the capacity to become successful.  How do you start thinking positively?

a.    Decide to have a positive mindset.  This means committing to a positive attitude, controlling negativity, and deciding to have a control on how you react to challenges and setbacks that life throws your way.

b.    Surround yourself with positive people.  Avoid those who exude negativity.

c.    Focus on your strengths.  How you perceive yourself consciously will affect your subconscious, and this will ultimately reflect in your actions.

d.    Be open-minded.  Do not allow yourself to be put in a box.  If you do this, you limit and restrict possibilities.

e.    Strengthen your knowledge and skills.  When you acquire more and more knowledge, you become more confident.  The more confident you are about your abilities, the more positive you are about your life.

f.    Have long-term goals.  When you have goals, you have direction.  You do not allow yourself to be defeated easily by challenges and setbacks.

g.    Do not limit yourself.  Believe that you are capable of reaching immeasurable heights.  Believe that you have capabilities that you do not even know you possess.

h.    Have faith.  Do not ever lose your faith in yourself.

i.    Constantly motivate yourself.

j.    Keep yourself healthy.

A lot is said about how you can reach your goals. A common tip to reach your goals is to print your goals in a large font and stick them up to wall. This will make sure that every now and then you get reminded of your goals. It is also suggested that you read your goals everyday before you start working. This will remind you what are you aiming for and how does the work that you will do today help you in achieving the goals that you have just read.

Fine… the above are all good suggestions. But still doing the above religiously will not help you in reaching your goals if and only if you don’t own your goals. To own your goals means that the following two attributes must be present:

You have a say in the goal setting process.

Goals which have been imposed on you by an authority without even consulting you in the goal setting process tend to result in lack of ownership. It is vital to have a say in the goal setting process, since after all you are the person that is going to work towards that goal. The fact that you are allowed to state how difficult it is to reach a goal, propose ways and means how to reach a goal and define a deadline for a goal will make you work harder to reach what you have in the first place proposed.

You really want to reach a goal.

During the goal setting process, you have limited information on which you can decide on. Things sometimes do not go as planned and variables change, making it harder to meet deadlines and achieve goals. Having real desire in meeting goals means that you are flexible enough to accept changes and adapt yourself accordingly. While adapting yourself you might have to work extra hours, invest extra money or take extra risks.

Goal ownership really makes a difference. When you feel that you own something, you will push the limits and work hard for what you own. Now stop and think… look at the goals that you have stuck to your wall or monitor… be honest and say whether you really own them

If I asked to you to name the largest deciding factor in the success and social status of the world’s most affluent and happy people, what would you guess it was? Would you say it was being born into a good family? Would you say it was a good education or perhaps sheer, raw talent? But any way you guess it, you’d probably be wrong. In fact, the greatest contributing factor to an upwardly mobile social status or an ever-increasing bank account is the ability to plan your future in the long term. And long term doesn’t mean planning next year or even the next five years. Long term planning means projecting yourself twenty or even thirty and forty years into the future and planning your every day toward achieving those goals over all else. Think you’ve got what it takes?

The Research

In the few years before 1970, Harvard University sociologist Edward Banfield conducted research into what behaviors and social factors could predict wealth, affluence and success. Banfield was using what we today would call “success modeling.” What he discovered, and would eventually publish in his controversial book “The Unheavenly City,” was that the only accurate predictor of success was what he referred to as “long-time perspective.” You see, Banfield studied education, race, family, upbringing, intelligence and behavior and found that the only thing that was held constant in those that succeeded was the ability and the habit of planning out their time not in the increments of hours, days or weeks, but in decades! 

That bears repeating: the only factor was how far into the future a person routinely planned.

Let that sink in for a second because it’s not a stretch to say that that information could change your life.

So how far into the future do you plan?

If you’re like most folks it’s usually to the next paycheck. We plan from pay period to pay period or, if we’re really on the ball, even a whole year in advance, but that’s where most of us stop. Think about all of the people you know who don’t even plan more than an hour into the future. Usually they make excuses like, “living in the moment” or “being spontaneous,” but never mistake good time management for being trapped, or stuffy. Learn how to use your time to its fullest and you’ll find you suddenly have more of it available to you. If you’re one of those people who rarely plans ahead, don’t feel bad because success is not out of your reach. The beauty of success modeling is that the information you receive from research like Banfield’s can be put to immediate, practical use.

The Steps You Can Take:

1. Discover Your Dream -  this is the hardest step on this list and there is just no getting around it. You have to find what it is that you love because that’s what you’re going to be working toward every single day. And don’t be afraid to plan big. Who wants to look thirty years into the future and imagine themselves still at a job they hate or retiring penniless? If you’re going to work your entire life for something, you might as well make it something that you actually want. Dream big or don’t dream at all.

I know some people might feel that planning that far ahead is all well and good for someone in their twenties, but what if you’re only a few year away from retirement? What if you feel you’re too old to start dreaming up something new? Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re never too old to start working toward your dreams and I’ve seen the proof of it. My father has worked in professional broadcasting all his life and one of the people he’s had the pleasure of becoming friends with is Rhubarb Jones, the most famous man in radio here in Atlanta and a man I have always known as Uncle Rhubarb. This man, well into his fifties and well over thirty years into an incredibly successful radio career decided to go back to college and in 2006 earned his Masters Degree in the hopes of becoming a college professor when he finally decides to hang up the headphones. Rhubarb was a smart enough man to look well into his golden years and find what it was he still had left in him. Don’t make the mistake of believing the myth that beyond forty or fifty is the backside of life. There is no hill. 

Start imagining the world you want. If you don’t know where you want to go you’ll never get there.

2. Get Over Your Fear of Disappointment - even more debilitating than a fear of failure is a fear of disappointment. We’re too afraid to plan ahead because we don’t want to face the disappointment if we fail to achieve our goals. We don’t want to write down a to-do list because we’re too afraid of not getting every item crossed off. Dreaming big isn’t a pleasurable experience because the thought of potential disappointments is always lingering. I know that, for me anyway, it wasn’t always like that. I know that when I was a kid, I used to dream big everyday. I fell asleep every night dreaming of the wonderful things I wanted to happen in my life. I spent many a school period daydreaming wondrous things that I could achieve and I always told myself that I would never loose that desire to imagine and dream. But I, like so many others, was ambushed by adulthood and somewhere along the line, my dreaming days fell by the wayside. I never knew it was gone until it was too late.

I lost my desire to dream because I was overwhelmed by the fear of never achieving those dreams. To never achieve my dreams was far better than trying and being disappointed by my own failure. I psyched myself out before I even had a chance to begin. But once I realized my loss, I took the necessary steps to regain it again. Now I can live with hope that my dreams may come to fruition instead of in the fear that they will ultimately fail. If the fear of disappointment has you, shake it off now and start looking toward hope, because that’s what your dreams are for.
 

3. Start Being Okay With Discomfort -  we have a great problem with discomfort in western society. We avoid it if at all possible, even if it could bring us the things we desire. We don’t want to exercise because it’s hot, sweaty and painful. We want the weight loss that the exercise could bring, but we don’t want to have to work for it. If you want to start developing a long-time perspective you have got to start being okay with discomfort. You must learn to face a little bit of pain and suffering in the short term so that you can find success and wellbeing in the long term. Once you have discovered what it is you want so far down the road, you must develop the courage to do anything to get it. You must learn to push through the discomfort of today, if that discomfort can bring you closer to your dreams.  

Start getting yourself into the mindset of doing your important tasks first, before you can talk yourself out of them. It’s a universal rule that we will always procrastinate on those tasks that will bring us the most success. This being the case, you must learn to see past the short term discomfort of your work and to the long term benefits it will bring. Keep your eye on the prize and grit your teeth when you need to.

4. Have Courage Enough to Make Goals - let’s face it, goals are scary. For one thing, we generally don’t like making promises to yourself that we’re not sure we can keep. We don’t like getting our hopes up and most of the time we just really have no idea of what we could feasibly achieve. We sit down to make our goals, become too frightened to dream big and start aiming as low as possible. We’ve gotten so used to aiming low that we’re unaware that we can aim any higher. Start finding the courage to make big goals. Don’t say you want a 3% raise just because that’s all you think you could get. Goals aren’t meant to be the things you think you could settle for, goals are like sign posts to success.

Have the guts to stand up for what you really want. Put them in writing, in plain view, and look at them everyday. Tell yourself that no matter what happens, come hell or high water, you can and will achieve them. It takes more than a little courage. It takes more than a little perseverance, but just remember that when the going gets tough, refer to number three.

Never Again Be Bogged Down

You already know that time management is an indispensable skill. You already know that planning out your days and making the most of your time can present you with amazing rewards in both your personal and professional life but you might not be taking your skills as far as they can go. Remember that the only predicting factor for success has nothing to do with the school you went to or who you know, it has everything to do with how far into the future you can plan. Take what you already know about managing your time and your talents and project yourself twenty or even thirty years into the future and write down what you see. What kind of job do you have? What is your home like? Your family like? What is life for you going to be thirty years down the yellow brick road? 

However you see it, write it down and review those plans from time to time. Once you have this plan written down, you will never again be bogged down in indecision or prone to procrastination. When you come to a fork in the road, figure out which one leads you closer to those plans. When you find yourself in hard times, look toward your goals and know that once through this moment of discomfort you will be one step closer to where you want to stay. So knowing what you know now, you must ask yourself the big question: Right now, this instant, how far into the future have you planned?

Daniel Roach is dedicated to a no-nonsense view of personal development. Through his website and blog he is dedicated to helping people make lasting changes through lasting effort. If you enjoyed this post and are serious about your personal growth, consider subscribing to his RSS feed.

Last year, my friend, Peter told me of his resolutions for 2007. Back then, he told me proudly that he has only 2 resolutions – both related to his career. He was very focused on his career and really wanted to move his career forward – big time.

When I asked about goals for other areas of his life, he simply said other areas of his life were fine and there wasn’t any need to set resolutions for them. Although I didn’t agree with Peter, I didn’t pursue the issue with him. I regretted not doing so…

Sure enough, for the whole of 2007, I never saw or heard from Peter the entire year. His attention was all on his work and nothing else. The last time I met Peter’s wife, whom I also know on a personal level, she told me his time was all spent at work and he had even neglected much of his family life. This wasn’t a big surprise to me.

THE DANGERS OF UNBALANCED GOALS

When you set a goal, you are actually committing attention and focus to an area of your life. According to the Law of Attraction, “energy flows where attention goes”. Although I am not a believer in the Law of Attraction, I agree with this statement.

The danger of setting goals in only one area of your life is that all your focus and attention goes there. As such, other areas of your life get neglected. Over the long run, this results in an unbalanced life and it’s your own life that suffers from this neglect in the end.

I know this because I have been there. I was a very career-minded person (and still am, to a certain extent) and I devoted all my time and energy to work. Like Peter, my goals were only about my career. I thought that by achieving top results in my career, I would have it all. Obviously I was wrong.

BALANCE YOUR GOALS FIRST, THEN BALANCE YOUR LIFE

Later, through reading and learning from personal development gurus, I learned to set goals for various areas of my life:

• Career and Work
• Money
• Family and Friends
• Spirituality
• Physical fitness and health

It seems a lot to do, but for most cases, you don’t have to do much – just make sure you do enough to maintain it. For example, for physical fitness, I merely set goals to run at least 2 times a week. Unless you’re aiming to be a top athlete, a goal like this will suffice to ensure that your health doesn’t get neglected due to overwork and stress.

So my friends, in 2008, as you go about setting your resolutions, remember to balance them so that you will lead a balance life. Have a great 2008.

Lawrence Cheok writes about living a balanced life and provides tips to improve your career, relationships and money at A Long Long Road. Other than writing, Lawrence does business development and project management in his day job.

“Aim high son. That way you make sure that you will be successful.” - Myth!

As from a young age we were brought up with this philosophy which I think is flawed. I think that aiming high does not have an affect on how much you achieve. It’s how much you work which has a direct influence on what you achieve. Some people think that by setting impossible targets they will work more. I think it has the opposite influence, at least on me for sure. When I miss a deadline, I tend to get down and take sometime to recover. That time will be wasted time and will affect the next deadline. Also missing a deadline will decrease your confidence in reaching the next deadline.

Just my humble opinion about aiming high: next time try to be moderate in what you aim for or else you can end up lowering your morale without knowing.

Quite often, we associate the word champion with Olympics, World Cup or similar competitive events for different sports. However, being a champion does not only mean to win such events.

Being a champion is an attitude in whatever you do. The short description of a champion is “The best in what s/he does”. In this post I will outline 5 tips on how to become a champion in what you do.

Continue Reading »

“If you are not making the progress that you would like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined.”
Paul J. Meyer

Continue Reading »